Archive | January, 2015

Sad days

28 Jan
A great face

A great face

This was my dad on his 85th birthday.  Dad died early Sunday morning.   When Mom and I were leaving the nursing home where dad had died she asked if I was going to do Sunday service.  Without really thinking about it, I said “yes, it’s what I know how to do.”

Dad’s service will be this Friday at his home church, John Wesley United Methodist.  In these in between days I try to figure out what to do.  It is nice when I have a task to complete.  It is good to feel productive.  It is good to feel like I can make a difference in the face of something so immovable like death.

Mom and I had Dad moved to a nursing home on Epiphany, January 6th.  The first night I left him there I asked if there was anything I could bring him.  He smiled and said, “good health.”  Of course, I couldn’t manage that.  We are so powerless in so many situations.  I really don’t know how people surviving with loving God.

I am thankful for all the gifts of this day; memories of Dad, work to do, a safe place to live, and way more clothes, purses and shoes than any one person needs.

Counting my blessings, thankful for prayers that hold me up, as God walks with me through these days.  Peace.

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Living in between

14 Jan

I have often felt like I was living in between the events that shape my life.  Such as the days before my sons were born, or the days before I heard whether or not I would be ordained by the church, or the wondering whether I would find a church to serve while I helped to care for my parents.

Now we are living through Dad’s last stage of life.  On the winter solstice Dad had a terrible cough, the day before Christmas eve he was admitted into Hospice care and on Epiphany he was taken to Julia Manor Nursing Home because we could no longer care for him at home.  Mom and I and my brother trade off sitting with him in this room.  He has good days and bad.  Yesterday he was awake and eat like he had never seen food before; today he is sleeping and somewhat confused.  Living in between.

It is difficult when your body becomes unhelpful.  I think of so many people who live this reality everyday.

I look for blessings in this in between world.  A safe and caring place for Dad to be; flexible work that allows me to be a reassuring presence with him in these in between days; good friends who pray for me and my family.

I pray you see the blessings of God as well.  God is there, loving us into transformation, in each drop of time.

New Year, have a happy

1 Jan

Hello Friends,

I love new beginnings,  You probably know this about me.  New possibilities, new hope, wondering what God will be doing next.  Yet this year I want to affirm in each day, God is present, even when life brings death and divorce.

Last week my dad was admitted to Hospice care.  He means he can stay at home with support from nurses, aids, and volunteers from Hospice.  And that anytime we need anything, we can call them.  Mom is trying to do 24/7 care for Dad and I am trying to help.  I believe God is present and will see us through this last transition of Dad’s life.

In November my divorce was final. This is a choice I thought I would never make for my life.  Yet, it is the one that reflects the current reality of my life and it is a healthy choice for me. It also simplifies Federal and State taxes a lot.

Can you fully embrace the current reality of your life?  I think it is the only way to make choices for the days to come.  To look realistically at where we are and meditative – with an aware of The Divine – look to where we can serve God in the days to come.  I think the only way to a rich, full, meaningful life is in relationship with God.

So, you are here.  The first day of a new year.  Let go of the old one, and see where you are on the road today and see where The Divine is moving you.

I might not be what you expected, but God can make it extraordinary